


it's raining in the shadows

by jayeinacross



Series: compromised [1]
Category: Castle
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 19:39:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayeinacross/pseuds/jayeinacross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sun is shining outside when Dever meets Javier Esposito.</p><p>The first in the series 'compromised'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's raining in the shadows

The sun is shining outside when Dever meets Javier Esposito. It’s a beautiful day, but Dever’s sitting inside a New York apartment, reading his file. The sound of cars driving by, with the occasional honk and screech, floats through the open window. Dever studies the information carefully, memorizes the face in the picture. There are other files – Roy Montgomery’s and Katherine Beckett’s, but he finds Esposito’s most compelling; he doesn’t want to tear himself away from Esposito’s past.

He doesn’t realize until months, years, later that this was the first sign.

It’s raining when Kevin Ryan meets Javier Esposito. It’s pouring, but it’s warm inside the 12th Precinct. The rain beats down on the windows, a steady stream of noise that fades into the background along with the ringing of phones and chattering of officers, the scraping of chairs and clicking of computer keys. They shake hands, and Esposito’s grip is maybe a little too firm, his tone polite but cool, and Kevin’s not sure why he’s not as friendly as Beckett or Montgomery.

Kevin can’t know, but Dever does. He’s read all about Isaac Thornton, and he knows more about that case than Esposito probably ever will.

They’re in the middle of a case, and not an hour after Montgomery’s introduced Kevin to the other two, he and Esposito are sent off to question the boss of a suspect. It’s still raining hard outside, and Esposito walks briskly. Kevin jogs to keep up.

Esposito may be a little cold at first, but Dever knows he only has to wait. He can be patient. And Kevin is persistent, he won’t leave Esposito alone because he’s a little cool.

It doesn’t take long for Esposito to warm up to Kevin, though. Kevin was designed to fit comfortably with him and Beckett, to work with them and to befriend them. He’s funny and kind and maybe he comes off as kind of a sap sometimes, but he’s a good cop, a dedicated cop, and loyal. And nothing wins Esposito and Beckett over like dedication and loyalty. Dever reads them so easily, knows them better than they know themselves, and Kevin is the instrument he uses to exploit that knowledge perfectly, undetectably.

“You’re from Narcotics, right?” Esposito asks that first day, when they’re sitting in the car, waiting for a suspect to come home. The rain is still cascading down, and they’re both half soaked from standing outside. The radiator hums and blasts warm air through the car.

Kevin nods, and Esposito asks a few questions about what it was like, about a few people they might both know. They’re easy to answer. Dever was Kevin Ryan for months before he ever met Esposito, he really was in Narcotics before he transferred to the 12th. He doesn’t ask about Esposito’s time in the special forces – while it’s possible that Kevin might have picked that information up somewhere, he knows the questions wouldn’t be welcome.

The months pass, and Kevin fits so well with Beckett and Esposito that it’s not like he’s the new guy at all. He’s just part of their team, their friend. Esposito’s partner.

It’s easy. It’s an easy job. Kevin is to stick close to Esposito, and all Dever has to do is keep an eye out for anything that could mean danger. Beckett is still fixated on her mother’s murder, although not as obsessive about it as she had been when she first became a cop. She can only cling to the ghost of her mother and keep looking, in a vain attempt to find something more. She doesn’t have any leads, nothing solid to follow.

It’s easy. It’s safe. And they don’t suspect at all.

Getting close to Esposito, that was the trick. Kevin’s records, his past, they were all foolproof. Unbreakable. The people that Dever works for are more than capable of creating an airtight identity, but even the slightest suspicion can raise alarms, and Montgomery would undoubtedly be watching closely for anyone trying to get close to Johanna Beckett’s case. Esposito’s partner is the perfect position to watch but not touch, and Kevin Ryan is the perfect character to fill it.

He just didn’t expect these kinds of complications.

They go into an abandoned warehouse alone; dangerous, but it’s the only option they have. If they don’t go now, a murderer will get away and they’ll be left with no leads at all. Esposito runs in, trusting Kevin to be his backup, and Kevin follows without a thought. With nobody but each other to look out for them.

And two months later, when Kevin finds himself in an alley with a bullet in his shoulder, dripping rainwater and blood, he realizes that he trusts Javier too. He’s lying there with the rain falling on him, and he’s waiting for Javier. He’s waiting because he knows Javier will come, he’ll find him, he won’t sleep until he does.

He wonders when exactly Esposito became Javier, and what it means.

The first time they kiss, they’re going back to Javier’s after work to play Madden, but the rain is coming down heavy and the lights are flickering occasionally. The sound of thunder is getting louder and closer each time lightning flashes across the sky, and when Javier closes the apartment door behind them, he looks at Kevin and stands too close. Leans in, and they’re so close that their noses brush together, and he pauses, looks at him.

Kevin closes his eyes, and that was what Javier was watching for. Permission.

When Kevin wakes up in the early hours of the morning, when it’s still dark, he’s tangled up in the sheets and curled into Javier’s warmth. Javier has one arm flung over Kevin’s chest, and it’s still raining, a steady, soothing sound.

Dever thinks that he likes the rain, and that’s when he realizes that nothing is as it should be.

This isn’t his life. It’s a job. He shouldn’t feel like this. Dever shouldn’t feel like this. Dever isn’t a person, he’s a shadow. Dever’s not allowed to feel like this. He’s not allowed to like the rain, or Javier, or even Kevin. He can’t stay with them forever.

But it just feels so right.

He knows what he’s supposed to do. He’s supposed to call his superiors on the phone sitting in a hidden compartment in his desk at his apartment, and tell them that he’s compromised. That he can’t go on with the job. And then he’ll leave, he’ll disappear, and it’ll be over.

Javier shifts and opens his eyes blearily. “Kev? What time is it?”

“Early. Go back to sleep.”

“You too, then.” Javier tugs on his arm.

Kevin smiles, and does as Javier says, curling up again and closing his eyes. He can hear Javier’s steady breathing, something that he realizes he wants to hear every day; he wants to go to sleep at night knowing that he’ll wake up with Javier next to him.

Dever knows then that he’s not going to call. He’s going to stay. Dever wants to stay, even if it means being the shadow, staying in the dark, hiding within the lie that is Kevin Ryan.

He wants to stay.


End file.
